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“AAaah !” Obelix, the Leadbelcher’s leader sighed and continued in empirish with a strange ogre accent as he sat down close to the fire at the edge of the Money Wolves’ camp (ogres, even when allies, tend to be mistrusted and therefore the camping site always seems to “move away” from the ogres) , “ It was a good fight indeed, wo’thy of a good battle ‘eport fo’ those little unz who stayed he’re in our camp”. By this he meant the ogre’s gnoblar pets. He continued : “it seemed as if the two (he uncomfortably twisted two of his ogre hands to show how much this was!) wizzies had some family who were recently killed in a battle in some far away land they call b’ettonialia o’ something like that. Never saw two little unz make so much fuzz and noise, constantly squabbling with each other ; even two gnoblars who envy each othe’s position don’t fight like that… Hu ! Asterix (to the gnoblar on his shoulder) Whot do you think ?... Those ladz we’e called Coh’Ca and Phep’si Cho’la and shamans they we’e ! But bad unz hey Asterix !”. The gnoblar confirmed by nodding his head (or nose which is quite the same for a gnoblar !). “Move over !” a huge ogre grumbled to Obelix as a red headed ogre dressed in pirate cloths came to sit aside the leadbelcher’s fire. He was known by a name who was clearly not his own ogre name : Wodca Martini (always accompanied by Shaken-Not-Stirred, his favorite gnoblar). He was a maneater who had traveled the world and the seven sea’s and felt home where-ever he could lay down his giant anchor he used as a heavy weapon. On his shoulder sat a huge parrot-like gnoblar in multi-colored feathers whose cry was heard allover the battlefield before “If you can not beat ‘m cheat ‘em, if you can cheat ‘em eat ‘em !” Wodca was immediately joined by a another maneater wearing more Arabic cloths, in a way of the “Blue tribe” of the northern Berber part of Arabia, armed with a huge scimitar : Blue Qu’urassao, with his mini-scimitar carrying gnoblar “Ondyrox”. And soon a third one joined them : a vicious looking guy (even for an ogre maneater !) who was dressed in a coat made of an own handed slaughtered bear, who had only one eye (the other one being lost in some long forgotten battle). He was loaded with chests containing all his wealth he acquired during all his whereabouts. He was called Whyz’kie and on his shoulder sat his favorite gnoblar “Zingel-Molt” with an a abacus always keeping track of all “transactions” as well as on the assets (who tended to grow with each battle) as the liabilities (who were seldom respected, an habit you can get used to being an ogre man eater ! There is simply no debt-collector with enough nerves to go any further after the debtor turns out to be an ogre, let it be an ogre maneater !). As the ogres sat down, the victory party of the Money Wolves began… A few weeks before, the famous Money Wolves, were hired by the banking family Di Phanta-Laayt from Rifenze in Tilea. They thought it is their sacred duty to save the world from all chaos influence after they lost their youngest cousin Guiseppe “Lucky” Luciano and his Capo Cinni to the chaos influence of the famous mage Ma’phia. So once they learned of a chaos incursion in the north of the Empire, they immediately called upon the famous mercenary army of the Money Wolves and it was Assurancetourix, son of Borgio the Besieger himself who took command of the army. The chaos incursion started a few months earlier and was lead by Marshall Spraayt-Lemmon, a vile marauder hero, who got magical “aid” by Coh’Ca and Phep’si Cho’la. As a mere coincidence, Spraayt-Lemmon was a relative of Lucky Straayk (before the chaos influence turned him into a beastman!) and Coh’Ca and Phep’si Cho’la were the little twin brothers of Benzzon and Hedgez : a very explosive mix of ambition and incompetence indeed! At his side, the remainders of Straayk’s beast men army fought along with his marauders. The beast men decided to follow Spraayt-Lemmon, as their leader was killed and as the marauder hero was the only kin of Straayk. Spraayt-Lemmon was a man looking for his own glory, and he quickly understood the advantages of allying with the chaos gods. He even succeeded in obtaining the favors of all four chaos gods without any binding to any one of them in particular. But not all of the favors were that favorable : Khorne remembered Straayk’s whereabouts and knowing that Benzzon and Hedgez gave him a good laugh, he made Coh’Ca and Phep’si cross the path of Spraayt-Lemmon. At his request they brew Spraayt a magical potion to double his powers, which they called “Cho’la” after their proper name. Unfortunately, the potion did not work as planned, but Spraayt-Lemmon’s stomach ache disappeared so he decided to keep them as his proper wizzies ! |
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Argentum Non Habemus, Aurum Sed Valemus
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